


LET'S HAVE BABIES says victor

by sheepsleet



Series: a/b/o nonsense [2]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Discussions of mpreg, M/M, can you even imagine?, he'd be mentally scarred for life, he'd never be able to eat it again!, i'm sure he's glad he decided against natto, natto smells gross as it is, the fermented bean strings ALREADY look like snot, think of that shooting up his nose, victor is the culmination of his mother's (questionable?) childrearing, yuuri nearly chokes on his oatmeal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 23:56:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14248587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheepsleet/pseuds/sheepsleet
Summary: “Let’s talk children,” Victor says one day at breakfast. Yuuri chokes on his oatmeal.“Why now? Why not after I have tea?” Yuuri asks despairingly. Victor doesn’t know why this is a big deal. His mother always insisted on hashing out important family decisions at the breakfast table.“Because this way you can’t run,” Victor says, reiterating what his mother used to tell his father at times like these.***A small collection of unfinished scenes taking place in the Screwed Either Way universe.





	LET'S HAVE BABIES says victor

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all! Sorry for the radio silence that's been going on since the last update of Screwed Either Way. Work's been murdering any control I have over my free time and the only thing I'm really churning out are these little snippets of things. I figured, hey, it's been a while and I like this little scene as it is, plus it was really fun to write! So voila! It's unfinished, sure, but it was fun. I hope you have fun reading it!

“Let’s talk children,” Victor says one day at breakfast. Yuuri chokes on his oatmeal.

“Why now? Why not  _ after _ I have tea?” Yuuri asks despairingly. Victor doesn’t know why this is a big deal. His mother always insisted on hashing out important family decisions at the breakfast table.

“Because this way you can’t run,” Victor says, reiterating what his mother used to tell his father at times like these.

Irina Nikiforova has been happily married to Konstantin Nikiforov for over three decades, which she tends to attribute to a combination of this style of family meetings, a religious beauty regiment, and an active life in the bedroom. Konstantin, with the air of henpecked husbands everywhere, simply smiles and nods whenever Irina says anything. She’s Victor’s hero.

“What the fuck,” Yuuri mutters.

For all that he’s gorgeous at all times of the day, mornings have never properly meshed with Yuuri. Victor expects the lack of filter to stay until Yuuri either has his morning tea, three more hours of sleep, or at least five hours of generally behaving like a zombie. Victor hopes their future children have his morning disposition instead of Yuuri’s, not that he loves Yuuri any less for it. It’s just hard enough trying to wrangle one night owl through five o’clock wake ups and morning runs.

“I want, at most, three. Preferably two. Mama did well enough with you and Mari and I didn’t like being an only child. I used to ask my parents, but my mother only told me that some things, like birth, she’d like to deal with only once.”

Yuuri sighs, at least partially giving in.

“And how soon are you wanting them?” he grumbles, rubbing his temples.

“Well, I know I said I wanted five gold medals out of you, but I’m almost thirty now and I hear that’s when pregnancies get a bit more complicated.”

Yuuri freezes and gives Victor a deer in the headlights sort of look.

“You  _ want _ to carry them?” he blurts out.

“Yuuri, I  _ am _ an omega. I can do it.”

“But I thought you would have wanted a surrogate? I mean, Nishigori was never much of a jumper to begin with but he lost them all when he birthed the triplets. Also he has definitely complained about how breastfeeding the triplets made him  _have_ breasts, having those breasts  _sag_ , and leaving his nipples permanently erect. You were _there._ ”

There are things Yuuri wishes he'd never had to learn. This particular aspect of Nishigori's life definitely hits the top of each and every list he can think of.

“When did I ever say I wanted a surrogate? I’d murder another omega for even daring to presume they’d carry our child.”

If nothing else, Victor's training under both Yakov and Lilia taught him to refuse to get anything less than exactly what he wants. And exactly what he wants is to carry Yuuri’s child until he either gives birth or has his bundle of joy cut out of him.

“Oh my god,” Yuuri mutters. He looks infinitely more awake and he didn’t even have his cup of tea yet. Score yet another one for Irina Nikiforova and her married life stratagems.

“I’d love to bear your children as soon as you’re ready, Yuuri. And only if you’re ready. Mamochka always used to say that raising me would’ve been so much easier if Papa was more involved.”

“Your mother raised you alone?” 

“More or less. Papa used to lock himself in the study to drink with Yakov, ‘like men’ they used to say.” Victor's tone when he says this is far too flippant. 

“Your mother was alright with that?” Yuuri asks, flabbergasted. 

He's going to have to figure out if he and Victor need to hug this issue out later. For now, he's just going to focus on his own complete and utter disbelief. After all,  Hiroko had always made sure Toshiya drank where she could keep a proper eye on him. Mari ensured Yuuri was taken care of until he was old enough to more or less mind himself with minimal supervision.  _Yuuri,_ once he got Vicchan, made sure to only make good decisions because his good boy was impressionable. Vicchan showed his appreciation by loving Yuuri far more than anyone else at the onsen.

Victor merely shrugs in response.

“She never complained,” he admits. “And she made sure Papa always came to any competition if it was near enough. Yakov never let them come backstage, he always said something about having no need to intimidate the other children.”

**Author's Note:**

> Any and all knowledge of breastfeeding comes from my own secondhand knowledge. My sister has definitely complained to me about her sagging boobs and permanently erect nipples. I am scarred, I hope I never have children, but hey! Maybe I made you laugh. That's honestly what it comes down to at the end of the day.
> 
> Also I have so many headcanons for Victor's mom. I think I read somewhere that a self-made bride is a strong-willed woman who more or less bullies a guy into marrying her. Something like that, it's been a while. Anyway, Irina Nikiforova is that. She knew what she wanted, who she wanted it with, and God as her witness she married her man and had her kid. Konstantin, meanwhile, just kind of goes with the flow like any self-respecting (hah) henpecked husband. He does love her! But she's kind of. Overbearing. And decides a lot of big life decisions on her own. And then their spawn ended up being Irina 2.0, only with an added attachment (hint: it's a dick). There are a lot of days where he goes "I need a drink."
> 
> Also, in regards to the tags, natto is...it's this Japanese fermented bean stuff. I crave it every now and then, but I will admit, if you aren't expecting the smell it is nasty as all get out. But basically the beans all stick together with this weird stuff that reminds me mucus and it'll stretch out way far. Uh, it comes with some sort of mustard and...something else. Idk, it's for flavoring, I just mix it all together in the little styrofoam container and then drop it on top of my rice and mix THAT together. If you've ever tried it, or if you ever do try it, let me know what you think of it. You can usually find it in an Asian food store somewhere. I had this utter revulsion to it for YEARS and now it's the complete opposite. Which is weird! But it is fun to trick my brother into eating it by being like "OH MAN THIS IS SO GOOD I'VE BEEN WANTING TO EAT THIS FOR FOREVER OH GOD" and he only remembers he hates it after he tries a bite. Good times.


End file.
